It's All Emotion

That is a line my DH and I use when we need to remind ourselves that certain situations just can't easily be handled by logic or rational thinking. Both of us prefer logic and clear-thinking and get a bit overwhelmed when emotion runs rampant.

We just used that line to prepare ourselves for a weekend that we knew would combine some good times with some major emotion. Even with the mantra running through our heads, it was tough weekend. Not all bad, but not easy.

My parents are, later this week, signing up to move into an apartment in an elderly housing complex. They'll be moving into a one-bedroom apartment in an independent living building. It is most definitely, for any number of reasons, the right thing to do. But it is something that carries a lot of emotional baggage for everyone involved. And, even though it has been anticipated for some time, it suddenly seems to be happening very quickly (probably because it is!).

It is particularly hard for my mother, but even I have some significant up and down feelings about the whole thing and am so looking forward to getting it done so we can all move forward. One of my sisters has blogged about how strange it will be not to have any reason to go back to our home town. I, too, feel that same sadness - even though I'll be passing by it often as it is between where I live and where my parents and siblings live (one brother and one sister live in the town my parents are moving - a great relief for all of us to have them close by my parents). I never lived in the house my parents are leaving, but it is less than 50 yards from the house I did spend most of my childhood in and therefore the neighborhood I called home.

Then there are the emotions of dealing with others' emotions. My mom is not handling this very well and that is wearing on all of us, and most distinctly on my father. I feel sad for my mother, defensive of my father, mad about the negative emotional energy swirling around, and even worried for my own future (I hope I'll end up being a charming and cheerful old lady, not angry with the world and holding onto that anger for all I'm worth).

On the positive side, we had a lovely reunion gathering on Sunday with all of the Talbots and Brooks families (my father's side of the family) - including cousins I have not seen in about 4 years. Only two people were missing -- one of my sons and my cousin's son. It was really, really nice to see everyone there. We also attended an elegant and lovely wedding shower for my sister-in-law to be on Saturday with all of my mom's sisters ("the Aunts"). It was fun to meet the other side of the family my brother will be joining.

Throw in our interim priest's last service (our newly called rector joins us in three weeks) and readings chosen to highlight change issues on Sunday, and a poem read in yoga class last Thursday about change, and change clearly has been the theme of my life for the past few days. With several bubblings-up of tears, anger, concern, confusion, joy, and just about everything but the kitchen sink thrown in, you can imagine my state of mind. And, it isn't pretty.