A New Year - A Clean Slate

I think one of the reasons I am driven to state new year's resolutions each year is because of the way the stress of the holidays seems to bring out all the worst in me. It is all self-imposed -- I try too hard to control everything around me: the gifts, the decorations, the timing, the food, the "arrangements." My most interesting insight came "on the mat" at yoga; the more out of control we feel, the more we tend to try to control things. Bingo!

This year, I am adopting a New Year's Resolutions approach offered by a blogger (thanks to my friend Lisa to pointing it out on her Facebook page). Chris Brogan encourages people to come up with 3 words to "help you define your goals and experiences for the coming year." I've been mulling that over since last night and have had lots of ideas but hope to settle on my three words here today.

Release.
There is a lot I need to let go of this year. I have a number of habits that don't serve me well, including habits of thinking. I need to lessen my reliance on my inner critic (which has a very loud and insistent voice). I also need to let go of "things" and "stuff" (but, not yarn or fabric!). My mother continues to worry about things that she had to give up in the move out of their house and I want to pare down the "stuff" I have so that we are actually using more of what we own and open up some "space" in our lives. And, I need to keep working on letting go of my sons as they finish college and go out into the world on their own. I currently hold on by being their chief source of income. Even though I'm very careful about not being a controlling funder, I am so looking forward to not having the responsibility of providing funds and caring about their use. While I'm looking forward to the financial respite, I'm most looking forward to the mental and emotional respite. So, this is a year of releasing bad habits, extra stuff, and parental "control."

Presence.
Being fully present (another yoga mantra) is another goal for me this year. This, to me, means several different things. For one thing, it means not putting things off or letting them stack up. Deal with them now. It also means being thankful for gifts in my life and expressing it. And, it has to do with parenting again. As a college career counselor, I know fully well how anxious seniors and their families are at this time of year and I want to try not to let my fears mount about the future for my sons. And, my cats are always a good reminder of what it means to live in the moment -- here's one taking advantage of the heat being on as the basket she is in lives on top of one of our radiators.

Planning.
Yes, I want to be fully here in the present, but I also know that the easiest way to enjoy that presence is to spend some time planning. My calendar is my friend -- knowing what is ahead of me during the week, for example, helps me to prepare my mind and emotions so that I can be present in the moment as the week goes on. I also need to act on last year's resolution to work on more carefully defined financial planning for retirement.

So, those are my three words for 2012. Release. Presence. Planning.

I actually started working on these before I was able to settle on my words.

I cleaned out a corner cupboard in our living room where I've been collecting glassware and teapots and vases and "stuff" for years. I hated to open it for fear that things would fall out and break, but also hated looking at it. I pulled everything out, boxed up things that my son wants to adopt, boxed up things for the church fair or a yard sale, washed almost everything off and rearranged what was left. Release.

I purchased hanging file frames and assembled them in preparation for starting to go through boxes and boxes of paper to pare it down to records and information I need to keep. There have been a few uncomfortable moments in the past year when I couldn't find information I needed because my current filing system is just archeological layers of paper, much of which I don't need to retain at all. I also read an article in Better Homes and Gardens about how to keep paper from piling up (in the January issue - not yet on their web site) and adapted it to my needs. I have a file box and a basket on the table where paper usually piles up. When I open the mail or bring home receipts, I'll put them in the files to be dealt with either mid-month or at my usual end-0f-month bill paying date. Planning.

And, I'm allowing myself to enjoy the feeling that this year is off to a great start in many, many ways. Presence.

I'm currently concentrating on finishing a number of knitting projects before beginning anything new. I've got two sweaters that need to be sewn together and I shouldn't start on a new sweater until I've got those two done. Really.

Christmas knitting is nearly done :) I still have two pattern repeats to do on Julie's Japanese Vines scarf. Zeben has advised me to make it long and since I don't know what I'd do with a leftover half ball of this yarn, I guess I'll just keep going until it is used up. Blocking it will make it a little shorter, but she is taller than I am, so I'm sure what feels long to me will be just right for her.

And, on this gray day, here's a bit of color to brighten us up:

Happy New Year!

Resolutions

Ah, the time of review and thinking about how to improve on...everything! My list of resolutions is always too long and daunting, and this year's is no different. Then I read Heloise's column in the paper this morning and she talked about setting goals instead of resolutions. Goals can be a bit broader and give you some leeway in your accomplishments, to my way of thinking. So, I'm setting goals instead of resolutions.

Knitting Goal: Work on those UFO's (unfinished objects for non-knitters). While I did request and receive yarn for Christmas (including a surprise gift of Sundara silk lace weight that thrilled me down to my toes!), my focus this year will be on finishing projects instead of starting new ones and using yarn I already own for anything new I do start.

Health Goal: Reduce anxiety. Or, at least manage it better - maybe with exercise? yoga on a regular basis?

Financial Goal: Maintain my financial sanity in the face of at least one son living off-campus next fall. Don't exactly know how this will play out, but will try not to be anxious about it (see above).

House Goal: Make real strides on reducing the "stuff" we have. More about that later, but it will involve a combination of getting rid of things and finding better ways to store what we keep.

Other Goals: Make quilts for Nate and my mother. Blog at least once a week (noting that my last blog entry was a year ago!). Make more effort to have a social life instead of hibernating when not at work or with family.

That seems like enough!

Overall, I find myself relieved to have 2009 in the past, though I hadn't been thinking that much about how true that would be. The last decade has had some significant rough spots in it for me and my family and I can see how it has all worn me down in some ways. Starting a new decade seems like an opportunity to start with a clean slate and I hope I can take advantage of that in some positive ways. And, how appropriate is it to have a blanket of fresh snow to make the world look tidy and clean.

ON/RECENTLY OFF MY NEEDLES:
I'm working on a Slouchy Cardi (from Knit Cafe) in Knit Picks Merino Style in Storm (a teal blue). The yarn was my birthday present, so I'm forcing myself to finish this before starting my Christmas yarn sweater. I've got the fronts and back done, am halfway up the sleeves (knitting both at once as there are some pattern issues and this will allow me to make them the same as I adjust the pattern), and then will have a hood to make. I'll need to seam it together, but there are no buttons or bands to add on, so it will be a quick finish.

I picked up a skein of Malabrigo Sock yarn in a denim-blue kettle dyed color at Thanksgiving and used it to make a pair of fingerless mitts (Delicato - I got the pattern from Dye Dreams at Spa Knit and Spin last spring along with some of their yarn and my aunt admired while I was knitting them) for my Aunt Alice. I actually got two pair done before Christmas and still have some left, from which I hope to get two "Cité" neckwarmers - Ann Hanson's latest KnitSpot pattern.

Cascade sock yarn in a dusky blue ended up in a prayer shawl for my friend Elisabeth using another Ann Hanson pattern "Cluaranach," and a scarf for my friend Lizzie, "Tudor Grace," another KnitSpot pattern. Ann's blog is one I follow regularly too -- that woman is an incredibly productive designer and it is an inspiration to follow her progress.

On Christmas Day I cast on for a pair of fingerless mitts for Don in the Knitty "Dashing" pattern and then knit a hat to match from the "Hurricane Hat" pattern that was one of the holiday links on Purl Diva's page. I used purple tweed Galway yarn. On New Year's Eve I knit another hat in blue tweed for Zeben from the same pattern. Maybe I'll make him a pair of mitts sometime too. But the leftovers will also make good mittens for next year's Mitten Tree at church. After knitting with sock and lace weight yarn for so much of the past year, knitting something in worsted weight goes so fast!

And, Nate requested a pair of socks last summer and I found a self-patterning sock yarn in reds, orange, maroon, and brown and finished them two days ago. I basically knit them twice as the first time through they were too big. I was working on them a lot over Thanksgiving because I had his feet readily available to test them on. I finally got the sizing worked out and finished one of them while sitting at the repair shop the other day, getting new tires on the car.

So, the only projects really on my needles at the moment are the neckwarmer and the Slouchy. I need to cast on another neckwarmer to use up some mink and cashmere yarn I got before Christmas. I managed to knit a neckwarmer for my Mom in time for Christmas but think I can get another one out of the skein. This is yarn that comes from a small company in East Orleans, MA called Great Northern Yarns. They shear the mink once a year and blend it with cashmere for a lovely soft yarn. It wasn't as impressive as I thought it would be when I took it out of the package (though I was very impressed with the hand-written thank you note the owner included!), but when I soaked it and blocked it, it "bloomed" and was just luscious!

On to a new year and decade!